2018/8/31 Why did I want success?
I read one Medium blog, and realized the reason why I wanted success.
Lack of confidence is it!
Having confidence was/is difficult task for me. When I lost confidence, I wanted success. This is from some minds.
1)Revenge mind: to someone or something
2)Anger: to myself
3)Pride: I couldn’t admit my fault
4)Pride: I could do better
Having these minds is normal action, but I was caught by them too much.
I needed success for protecting my minds.
But what is confidence? There are some answers, but I think it is something which makes people strong. If confidence is weak, people seems weak.
So confidence may be relatively thing, not absolutely thing. And it is decided by relationship between people and people, or people and problems. Confidence is decided by power relationships. People who has strong confidence, may prefer to bury others.(I don’t need such confidence.)
And I realized that why people who want to be leaders, targeted me. Because (I don’t believe their judgment and) I have weak confidence. Weak confidence people are targeted by strong confidence people.
So what should I do?
My answer:
(1)Having skills to solve problems.
(2)Knowing there is no need to success.
Reasons:
(1)There are some(many?) leaders who can’t understand problems in Japan.
They have wrong confidence. I don’t need to beat with them. I focus on skills for solution.
(2)Being relaxes makes me more powerful.